Quest to be schooled best

Who says Singaporeans are apathetic?

I used to lament that. But over time, I've realised that Singaporeans are generally passionate about a few things such as:

1. The best of the best... in hawker food.
It doesnt matter if it's in Jalan Kayu or Tuas, if someone smells something top of its class, you'll find a queue of people there and a variety of big and small cars parking illegally. Enough said about this widely known Singaporean phenomenon.

2. Getting the best schooling for our children.
As today's Straits Times article reported, Singaporeans will queue up to register for their child's kindergarten in 2013! This is a new phenomena.

Why do we care so much about our child getting THE BEST? My thoughts were triggered by Qiaowen's post on the article in WSJ by a Chinese American on why Chinese parents are the best. The writer postulates that Chinese parents are insistent on excellence, does not allow for excuses for 2nd tier performance, and does not allow their children to perform at school plays, go for parties, etc. In other words, Chinese parents do not respect a child's wishes so long as they are still a child. They assume only they as parents know what's best. They are not sensitive to a child's self-esteem. And all these because they love their children as much and will sacrifice as much of their own resources as they will sacrifice their child's choices.

It may sound a tad stereotypical, but I believe the gist is true. We do care so much more about our child getting the top, the best, anything that is needed for financial success as an adult. While Singaporean mummies are not as extreme as the ones described in the WSJ article, we have our fair share of pushing the envelope on radical ways of loving our children. Like those parents who queued for Nanyang Kindergarten. I mean, it's kindergarten! Even I startled.

I myself had gone to SJCK to register Ian for playgroup, when he was only 3 months old. Despite being this early, Ian is still on the waitlist. And that was 2010, registering for entry to playgroup in 2012. At the same time, I ventured into http://www.kiasuparents.com/ territory and read about the top primary schools. There and then I made up my mind that I will be a Parent Volunteer, to get my boy into one of those top schools.

At the beginning I did feel abit sheepish and quietly ashamed of being so "kiasu". But it took me only the next day to seal my conviction that I, as a parent, will do whatever I can, to provide a good start for Ian. The rest is up to him.

I still consider myself a moderate because PV is part of my agenda so long as the job doesnt require me to sacrifice my youth. Like being traffic warden would be a no no. And I would not queue overnight for registration just as I would not queue overnight for a property launch. Unless we can have a fun camping experience. In spite of these, I'm still quite extreme amongst my mummy acquaintances.

Back to my ponderings about the extremes of Chinese styled parenthood. I think our definition of success has consistently been earning lots of money in an ethical way. In a land of available opportunities such as Singapore and US, we will not hesitate to grab whatever it is out there to gain an advantage, to get to success. Hard work is no problem since it has always been this way for overseas Chinese, whose ancestors had to leave home, risk life and limb, endure persecution, and start from scratch.

I know there must be more to the overseas Chinese psyche which affects our parental style. At present, I'm sitting on the fence between tough-love parenting that works, and soft love parenting that might also work. The bottomline is my safety net is God, so I'm quite happy to be moderate.