I must admit, its been tough so far... hadn't expected it to be so, it's my 3rd child after all.
Found myself caught unprepared for so many things...in summary his acid reflux, hence his slow feeds, & his discomfort when lying flat, resulting in having to prop him upright against my chest for at least an hour after each feed. I would have slept in that upright position too if not for fear of dropping him in my deep sleep.
I found myself having to relearn parenting. This must be why many parents looked so low morale & drained I thought. I am so blessed to have 2 earlier babies who did not have such troubles. But here I am with my 3rd.
The way he chokes intermittently during his sleep, face all crunched up & red, really makes our heart ache. The red patches of baby acne made everything look more severe.
We have had no nights of proper sleep since my confinement lady left 6 days ago. Instead my husband & I take turns to stay up so the other can steal some 3 hours of sleep. Amazingly we still managed the energy to celebrate my birthday on Tuesday.
When things look bleak & it seems this fatigue might go on forever, & questions like how am I going to make it back to work at this rate kept playing in my head, I just cry out to God. Deep in our hearts we believe that God has given us a healthy & whole baby. We are learning to keep trusting His goodness. I envision a near future when Ben can hang out in the living room, awake & alert with his bright eyes looking around, being coddled by his siblings.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies are new every morning. Amen.
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