It's time...

My good friend delivered her baby gal last night. I remember feeling very excited for her, even right before falling asleep wondering how much she's dilated. At slightly past midnight, I was woken by text messages informing me of her baby's arrival. A picture of her newborn was received, & that's when it started to feel strange for me...

The baby was fresh out of her womb, still covered in vernix caseosa, eyes puffy & lips red. I suddenly remember that's how a newborn looks like, that I would be meeting mine in a month's time. All this while Zoe was to me a black & white ultrasound, a pair of legs always playfully pushing out of my tummy & constant flutters in my pelvis. I have not prepared myself to meet my flesh & blood Zoe with features like Ian gazing at me with dark beady newborn eyes & tiny nose & mouth.

And there's the delivery experience. My friend had given birth without epidural, the whole process lasting less than 6 hours. I was jolted to the fact that I would be going through the same contractions, though I'm really not confident I have the threshold she had to go through an epidural-free delivery. It's not something I can hear her relate and wonder how what if it's me. It will be me soon!

Time to get mentally prepared to welcome my girl into our life...

Having a baby is really a miracle unto itself. There are so many aspects, how your breastmilk adjusts to your baby's nutritional needs at various stages, how your body accommodates another living being while still keeping you functioning (a friend says the pelvis dislocates & relocates itself during birth), how an egg develops into an adorable chubby girl in 9+ months...

As a friend said, no one else can ever understand what a mummy goes through....in her words, the fatigue & physical tiredness feels like you're running a fever with no temperature after running a marathon & then got hit by a bus... I laughed at her graphic descriptions...maybe that's why mummies bond easily, it's like you've gone through BMT or shared a life-changing event together.

This evening, I held my son's hand & walked the corridors of the hospital looking for my friend's ward. Midway we encountered an elderly Malay man & a young Malay man pushing the baby cot out of the room. Both were fixed at the baby inside. I could almost literally see their faces beaming with light. The elderly man looked up & we smiled at each other. I could feel his pride & joy & satisfaction. As we passed, I said "congratulations", but he didn't hear me as he was wrapped up in the world of the child many times smaller & newer to the world than him.

Babies are such a miracle.